From birth until age 30, I was a YMCA member. The Y was the best (out of 2 or 3 others) in Fargo, and my mom had been a member far before I was born, too. So, naturally, when I graduated from college and had to pick a gym, I looked no further than the Y. Some of the facilities were shabby, but you couldn’t beat it for price and convenience. When I got married, however, my now-husband was a longtime Lifetime member and had no interest in switching. The couple of times I had gone to work out with him, I was struck by all the ads on the walls, and the constant upselling you’re exposed to when you go to a Lifetime. But I had to admit the facilities were nicer, there was a location convenient to our home, and it wasn’t that much more than the Y per month. So I switched. Say what you want about the Y, but if there was a Y you wanted to go to, you could go in with no problem.

I still bristle at all the ads within a Lifetime, but they get easier and easier to ignore. What I have come to seriously dislike is their arbitrary tiered ranking of clubs. From lowest to highest prestige, there’s Bronze, Gold, Platinum, Onyx, and Diamond. [I’ve never seen a Diamond-level club. I assume it’s so fancy that they pay someone to do the exercises for you.] So, if I’m in a certain part of town running errands and want to squeeze a quick workout in, I have to make sure the club near me is at my level or below. This is annoying. Say what you want about the Y, but if there was a Y you wanted to go to, you could go in with no problem.

From a marketing/business perspective, I’ve been trying really hard to figure out why they do it this way. To me, it would make more sense to let everyone use the core facilities at any Lifetime (cardio, weights, aerobics) and then upcharge the crap out of them for the nicer stuff. But then, by doing a flat (higher) fee, I suppose they make more money since so many people are paying for the option to, I don’t know, hone their chip shot or whatever, but never exercise that option.

The thing is, I believe that even the crappier Lifetimes will eventually have to be updated and improved. And then the company will find itself in some sort of upper-class arms race to have nicer and nicer facilities at the top tiers to differentiate. I’ve just finished Blue Ocean Strategy, so I’m seeing that they’re continuing to compete in a red ocean where the only added value they offer is in fancier and fancier clubs. If that’s their strategy, I can only see them doing more and more for diminished returns. How much faux granite can one locker room hold? And how much will people pay for it? We’re about to find out. In the meantime, just let me use the damn elliptical at your fancy club. I promise I won’t make eye contact with anyone.